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And again!


     I retrieved the mail from the mailbox yesterday afternoon and found a bill from the nursing home.  They sent us a bill for $912.00.  What?!  Yes, they are attempting to double-bill us for the last six days of my MIL’s life.  The life that their negligent (lack of) care ended. 

     I sputtered, I ranted, and I raved.  Once I calmed down, I went over there.  I was loaded for bear and made a lovely scene in front of patients and visitors alike.  I don’t care.  I don’t care how much I raise my voice, I don’t care who hears.  I demanded they call their superiors and wreck their day as they had wrecked mine.  Not one of those so called ‘skilled nurses’ was brave enough to do it.

     That’s okay because I made my point.  I will make my point again on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…you get the idea.  I hope they are ready for a picket sign, bad publicity, and any number of things I can think of that might keep other people from placing a patient there.  I have all the free time in the world.  Who knows, after the conference, I may just camp out in their parking lot.

     I have the email address for the CEO of the parent company along with his staff’s email addresses.  They will get sick of hearing from me.  I also have the name of a great attorney who really loves to go after places like this. 


It was not a good day yesterday


     DH and I went over to the nursing home for their “care conference” and, once again, they had the “conference” in her multi-patient room.  At least this time they were ready for us because I made a rather loud remark at the check-in desk about how they screwed up last time.  As we walked to the elevator, we heard the receptionist page them to the phone.  It was amazing to find three staff members hovering over Mom when we came into the room as if they’d been waiting for us.  I might have believed it if we weren’t early and if two of them weren’t a bit winded.

     They hate it when I come in with DH.  I pull out my notebook, “Before we start I want your names.”  Then I make a point of checking my watch and putting the date and time in my notebook before they speak.  All the while they are talking I take notes.  It drives them crazy and keeps me happy and sane to do this to them.

     It’s rough on DH and brings me to tears.  Mom is not there mentally and these past few weeks she’s gone rapidly down hill physically.  They finally have the DNR on her chart.  We feel that as far-gone as she is, it isn’t fair to her to have them prolong her agony.  (I swear I am going to have ‘DNR’ tattooed on my chest!)  

Make it quick for me


     This afternoon we are going to what we angrily call a ‘no care conference’ at the nursing home. They had us come to one of their “care conferences” last month and it was pure BS with a topping of crap. (Yes, those are air quotes, people.)

     It seems to me that if they want to present a professional front that they’d actually hold these “care conferences” in an office. Oh, hell no. Last time, even after confirming the appointment with us TWICE, they “forgot” we were coming in. Then they had us stand in the middle of a four patient room and gave us a trough of horse crap about nothing to do with the MIL’s care. (OMG and this place has a US Government ranking of three and a half stars higher than the one my Mother was in!)

     If the day comes, that I am mindless and dying a slow death, I hope that one of my friends will have the kindness to push me in front of a speeding bus or put a bullet through my brain. I want a quick death not a lingering one.

Somehow, things need to change


     You’d think that after two falls in the nursing home that they’d actually keep a closer eye on DH’s mother.  Nope, she’s now had five falls.  Three falls from her wheelchair and two from her bed.  These people are supposed to be taking care of her and at a premium cost no less.  Angry doesn’t begin to describe how we feel. 

     It sickens me that they can get away with this because we have nowhere else to turn.  From what I’ve seen on the government ratings, this nursing home is rated three stars higher than the one in which my sister put our mother.  This sickens me more.

     There is no easy solution, we can’t take care of his mother here, the house is too small and DH has enough to deal with, with his MS.  I am not a nurse or a doctor and I am not qualified to take on her care as well as his.  Thus, she must be in a nursing home.

     There should be more inspections and tighter regulations on nursing homes to raise the quality of care in ALL of them.

And so begins another year


     I heated a tiny personal pan pizza, opened a small bottle of champagne, and toasted in the New Year alone.  This was a first.  DH usually celebrates with me. 

     However, DH had had a rough day,  he was in bed and sound asleep by ten.  We had a meeting at the nursing home about his mother’s care in the afternoon.  After finding out the nursing home had his mother on a full code, we talked to them about putting a DNR on her.  This was not an easy decision.  We’re both certain that she wouldn’t want to have special measures taken to revive her at this point.  We’d discussed this amongst ourselves for years.  It’s a quality of life thing.  She’s barely there mentally now.  She knew all too well how important quality of life is and she, loving her independence as she did, would be rather pissed if any other decision were made and her life prolonged at this stage.

     Yesterday was the third anniversary of my mother’s death.  It was not a happy day in this house.  The day kept reminding me that all of my immediate family is gone.  I do thank my lucky stars that I have aunts and cousins that love me and keep in touch.

Nursing homes plunder and pillage and the Government lets them


     The nursing home wants DH to sign his mother’s assets over to them today even though her insurance hasn’t run out yet.  Yes, now they’ll be able to loot her checking and savings accounts with impunity.  Once they’ve cleaned out every dime, they’ll appropriate the house.  Meanwhile, we still have to pay her bills. 

     The Government doesn’t give a damn.  The fleecing of the elderly and their families happens daily.  Senators and congressional representatives have their own insurance and they don’t pay into Medicare.  When it comes to medical or nursing home care, their families have no worries.  The Government pays for it.

     Unfortunately, we baby boomers are aging and most of our parents are either dead or elderly.  Short of hitting the lottery, I see no help for any of us who are in the middle class.  We will have nothing to pass on.  We will lose our homes, savings, and worst of all we’ll lose our dignity. 

     Our Government is telling us to spend, spend, and spend some more to stimulate the economy.  Well, they certainly do spend and the problem is what they spend it on isn’t it?  Please take care of things at home and if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

     The Marie Antoinette ‘let them eat cake’ attitude is alive and well down there in DC.  How many of them have to worry about the cost of necessary medications and then walk out of the pharmacy without them so they have enough money for food?

     They should walk in our shoes for a while and then let’s see how many tell us to go spend money that we don’t have.

No NaNoWriMo for me


     It’s a rainy day, the perfect time to sit down and write, or so you would think.  Nope.  If it isn’t one thing it’s another keeping me away from my books.  Heaven’s, I’m glad I didn’t enter the NaNoWriMo I’d never make it close to the word count. 

     I think about entering every year.  However, thinking isn’t doing.  Maybe one of these years I’ll do it.  I don’t think it will happen until things around here begin to go smoothly for a change and what a great change that would be.

     The MIL is out of the nursing home and back in the hospital—has been for several days.  Her elderly dog died the other day and we aren’t planning to tell her that any time soon since she’s non compos mentis now.  All that would do is confuse her more.

     DH is over tired and over stressed, meanwhile, I’m doing my best to keep his spirits up, and giving him a chance to rest and relax when he’s home.  Even the pups are being good, miracle of miracles.