Blog Archives

Life with an MS patient

Spent the day yesterday sitting in the waiting room of the hospital while The Curmudgeon had an extensive MRI of the brain. Again. I keep telling them all they’ll find is air.

We won’t know anything until after the neurologist gets the results.

Last week, I ran him for a blood test, and the week before that, we visited his neurologist.

We spend a lot of time sitting in waiting rooms.  I hate waiting rooms.

I am very glad to have my Kindle with me. I don’t want to read a magazine that some toddler has drooled on or someone has coughed and sneezed on, no thank you.

You all have a good one.

There wasn’t enough coffee in the world.

HPIM4122I had one of those toss and turn, OMG-am-I-ever-going-to-fall-asleep? nights. Only to have The Curmudgeon call me on the intercom two minutes after I finally fell asleep.

“I can’t take care of the dogs today.”

“OMFG! Really? Why does this always effing happen when I’ve had NO sleep?!”

No, I didn’t get a nap to make up for it after the dogs were taken care of, instead I had to make a grocery store run and after that no one would let me sleep.

Therefore, this is all you’re getting. It’s after midnight and I am going to make a full on attempt to get some sleep.

What? Again?

Yeah, Tuesday I drove The Curmudgeon to his pain management appointment. They forgot and only gave him one of his three months of prescriptions which we didn’t see until after we got home. Therefore yesterday, I had to take him back there to get his other two prescriptions.

This happens far too often.

HPIM4125The Curmudgeon was not a happy camper.

Strange day. Thank you effing MS.

I headed to bed at three in the morning, early for a change. I thought, “Ah hah! I will sleep well and be up in time to relax with my coffee before G and I go out to lunch.”

I should have known better. Any time I make plans The Curmudgeon’s MS rears its ugly head and flings my plans to the four winds. Just dozing off, I hear him calling me. (Crap!) Bounding out of bed, dashing down the hallway my blood pressure jacked through the roof, I find him unable to move. Scared to death, I screamed at him. My language consisted of expletives and I sounded like an educated sailor.

Yeah, I’m an idiot. I am NOT a nurse. I was scared out of my mind.

He had to pee. I cussed some more and helped him with his pee bottle. Then I went back to bed. Just barely begin to doze off when he’s calling for me again for the same reason.

I am not a nice person. I am not prepared to do this. I have no help at all. There is no one who actually gives a shit about us, other than G, nearby and I can’t ask her for help she’s still raw from losing her husband to cancer.

G is the only reason I managed to keep my sanity. She took me to lunch anyway even though I was not sure if I should leave him alone. I didn’t realize how much I needed to get out and away until I went.

Upon returning home, a nicer person appeared.

You all have a good one.

I’ll try to keep my sanity…



Dream a little dream

Okay, I admit it. I often roll over and go back to sleep so I don’t have to face another day quite so soon. I am tired of arguments and feeling like all I am here for is to wait on The Curmudgeon. Unfortunately, yesterday my dreams went to us arguing rather than being something pleasant. I can’t escape even in dreamland.

I know I’d be more willing to do it if he actually made some sort of effort to get his muscles in even mildly better shape.

Physical therapy? He won’t go, the place is too far from home. Using the home gym I have set up? Nope, why would he bother?

He’d rather turn into this man who looks and acts as if he were 90 years-old than make any effort to work on muscle memory or strength. At least he will use his cart.

Of course, come to find out, Mr. Cranky Pants hasn’t been taking his antidepressants for at least a week. No wonder he’s been so impossible to live with. You bet I gave him the devil for not taking them when I found out and he’s started them again.

I hate MS. I hate that it has taken the kind, loving, and considerate man I married away.


This gift will keep on giving

     After an overwhelming day the day before, yesterday, The Curmudgeon (Jay) took his mobility cart for several spins in the yard and showed it off to the next door neighbors.

     I think he’s still a bit in shock over everyone’s generosity in getting the cart for him.

      You have to understand that even though he was an only child, he was never treated well by either of his parents. They were cold people who never hugged or showed much affection.

      Coming into my family, where most of us were demonstrative, was culture shock for him. My grandmother giving him hugs, my father treating more like a son than his own father ever did, my mother treating him better than his mother, sisters teasing him and showing him affection, he discovered a whole new sort of life and he liked it.

     He was so touched by this gift. This outpouring of love from people he knows so little about. He was at a loss for words for most of the day, but I caught him outside admiring the cart more than once.


Yes, there is good in the world

     A little while back I posted a link that a couple of friends on Facebook had set up to get The Curmudgeon a  mobility scooter.  These are friends whom I have never met in person.

      Most of the people who donated money to this I’ve never met.

     This is why my heart is full and my eyes are leaking. I love this man and to have him feel so happy about being able to play with the dogs outside once again is a blessing.

     The scooter gets here today between 11:00 a.m. and 1 p.m.

     I don’t think he believes it yet. 🙂

     When you start to think there is no good left in the world, talk to me. I know better.

     You all have a good one.

     There will be pictures when it gets here.



What triggers your migraine?

     I had a migraine headache yesterday and the day before, first ones I’ve had in a long time. I got them thanks to my neighbors. You see, for me, one of the things that will trigger a migraine is the odor of petroleum products. That’s why I go to a full service station and don’t pump gas.

     A few of our neighbors decided to barbecue and they all went overboard with the charcoal lighter fluid. Instant headaches for me. This is why I love my gas grill. No charcoal lighter fluid to make me sick for days.

     I have many friends whose migraines are triggered by perfume, that’s why I stopped wearing it a long time ago. The only time perfume will trigger one for me is when some idiot bathes in it.  Seriously people, perfume and aftershave should not be worn by the gallon. A drop or two will do ya just fine. There’s a fine line between smelling nice and just plain stinking.

     You all have a good one!



Time to try out the new crock pot

     A while back I’d put some country-style ribs in a dry rub for 48 hours and then put them in my crock pot to cook.  That was the day my crock pot died. I had to throw out the ribs. Yes, I actually cried about it. Those ribs had started to smell real good right before the crock pot died. We had let them sit for hours in it without knowing that they were sitting in a dead crock pot. At the moment I have ribs sitting in a dry rub and they will be ready for the pot on Monday.

     Today I have a lovely beef roast marinating in a Guinness, sweet soy sauce, Worcestershire, thyme, garlic powder, and onion powder solution. That will all be going in the crock pot with onions, potatoes, and carrots in a few hours and roasting for 8 to 10 hours. I’m hoping for tender and tasty.

     I’ll let you know how it went. You all have a good one.

Yep, you guessed it…

HPIM3729You all have a good one!

I hate panic mode

     MS sucks. We all know that. The Curmudgeon’s MS tends to suck in multiple ways. Yesterday it sucked by stranding him in the kitchen in the morning. Which in turn had him using his cell phone to call the house and leave a message knowing that the phone next to my bed would pick up the message and (most likely) wake me.

     One problem with that, is when he does it, he puts me in adrenalin zapped heart pumping overloaded panic mode. Too many times of that and one day I’ll just die of a panic induced heart attack before I get to the top of the stairs.

     I spent the rest of the day cranky, completely out of sorts, too tired from only 4 hours sleep, head achy, and unable to fully function. Nothing got done.

You all have a good one.

     I need a vacation.


The bright and dark sides

     On the bright side, I had a lovely lunch with a Facebook friend yesterday. It’s so nice to meet up and truly enjoy someone’s company. The pups love company and were very happy to meet her too. I think they would have skipped their naps for her. 😉

     On the dark side, we got the results from The Curmudgeon’s MRIs and even though they don’t show any new lesions (good news), they do show that the lesions he already had are worse.

     We have no idea what is looming but we can only keep moving forward. 

     If you’re in the area, stop on in. The Curmudgeon could use a bit of cheering up.

     You all have a good one!

Dark side