Yeah, I don’t like the holidays

I quit celebrating these holidays about the time my Dad died.

I made an effort when Mary’s kids lived with us, but when they left, I quit.

I see no purpose in celebrating something I don’t believe in.

I’ll take Halloween any time. 😉

My turn at the eye doctor

I have never been an easy one for eye drops or anything near my eyes for that matter. This time was no different. My eyes kept slamming shut on their own volition.

After a complete exam my eyes were not happy with the light.

Healthy eyes!!!! Hurrah! I worry since my mother had macular degeneration. No sign of it or cataracts.

Now if only the drops would wear off and things weren’t so blurred. It’s like looking through very dirty glasses.

New glasses in 10 days.

I miss you Dad.

4/8/1915–11/27/1995

Wish you were here.

Lucy loves Gavin

A little too much.

She drives the old boy crazy when he’s trying to nap in his crate. She lifts his towel and peeks at him. Teases him.

He sometimes gets cranky with her and yells. Truly, he scolds her for disturbing him. Poor old dog is 15 and his greatest pleasure (other than a tennis ball) is his naps.

He can yell at her all he wants, she still loves him.

I wish he could have a good day every day

Yesterday, The Curmudgeon had what I would call a good day.

He got around pretty well and didn’t fall once.

He had a good nap and seemed in better spirits than he has been.

However, last night, he did mention that he thinks he needs to have his antidepressants changed as the old ones seem to not be working.

It saddened me to hear that.

 

What are you thankful for?

I’m thankful I made it through the day.

I’m thankful The Curmudgeon had a decent day.

I’m thankful he’s gone to bed and the dogs are asleep.

I’m thankful to have a little time to myself.

Go…go…go

Had another day of non-stop running around.

Pups had me up early. By the time I got them fed and out twice it was time for me to shower and head out to the doctor’s office.

Doctor put me on another antibiotic in hopes of killing this tickle in my chest. It’s still hanging in there.

Then I had to make a stop at the grocery store. Why do people wait until the last-minute to buy things for a holiday meal? I had to brave the crowd just to get dog food and few things on my list.

We don’t do holidays. It’s just the two of us and who needs to fuss?

From now until after Christmas, I avoid stores as much as possible only buying things I absolutely need and in as few trips as needed.

When I finally got home, the pharmacy called to let us know his medications were ready. I’ll go get them tomorrow. I am not driving in the all idiot traffic again.

Strange sort of day

So glad I planned on spaghetti for dinner before I took The Curmudgeon for his eye doctor appointment.

His appointment took forever, he’s now showing *baby cataracts* and had some changes in his eyes.

I’m hoping he will see better after he gets his new glasses and his complaints will lessen.

Next week I go for my check up and new glasses.

Through the looking-glass darkly

There are days I feel like Alice, staring in the looking-glass, climbing up on the mantle to try to see around the corner.

I push my face against the glass, hoping that I fall through to the other side, and things are different.

I pray for an escape. Some way to find a bit of joy again.

I miss laughing.

I miss having joy bubble up inside me.

I want a looking-glass to fall through.

Butt dragging day

Woke before my alarm again thanks to Gavin. Couldn’t get back to sleep thanks to both him and Lucy.

Therefore the entire rest of the day, even with tons of coffee, I spent with my eyes drooping and my butt dragging.

A nap you say?

Nay, no nap for me.

Soon as I settled in for one The Curmudgeon came wandering down from his.

Sigh.

Will the old dog ever sleep in?

Seems that no matter how late/early I take the Gavin out, he still wakes me an hour or so before my alarm. So your guess is as good as mine.

I’m actually glad that the old boy is still around to wake me up so don’t get me wrong. It’s just that, every day, I want that hour back.

This isn’t the Wonderland I’d like to be in

It’s difficult to watch this man fall apart more each day.

We’ve been married for 43 years and together for two years before that.

We had our ups and downs but this has been a very long down since his diagnosis in 1989. It’s difficult when you no longer have any ups.

The fall down this rabbit hole is far from pleasant and when you hit the bottom, you realize that yes, things can get worse.

There is no bouncing back. This is not relapsing remitting MS. This is that long, slow fall down the rabbit hole into a Wonderland that has gone bad.