Welcome to electric massager addicts anonymous
Our dog Gavin has a problem. He’s addicted to the Homedics back massager. We can’t turn the thing on without him leaping to attention and begging us to use it on him. I think he needs a support group. Poor boy, I think I’ll send him to one tonight…
“My name is Gavin and I’m an addict.”
“Hello, Gavin.”
“I’m addicted to the back massager. It’s my humans’ fault. They got me started. I can’t hear that thing turn on without turning into a drooling, rolling on the floor, whore for it. I must have it. I insist my humans use it on me first. Turn it on. NOW. I need it. It is MINE.”
“Whoa, whoa there boy.”
“Sorry, I can’t help it.”
“We understand.”
“It started when my Dad human brought the thing home from the pharmacy. He bought the wonderful thing for his back but then thought it would be funny to try it out on me. Oh, it felt soooooooo good! Later that night, I tried to turn it on myself, but couldn’t, and even if I could I have no thumbs and can’t hold it.”
“You poor boy.”
“Now they hide it behind the sofa where I can’t get at it. It’s no fair. I need it. I WANT IT.”
(Patty: Geez, he’s such an idiot.)
Posted on December 23, 2009, in Dog related, Writer, Writing and tagged Author, Beads, Bones, books, Books on writing, Bull Terriers, Care giving, Caregiver, Coffee, comedy, Craft of writing, Crafts, Dead, Disability, Dog humor, Doggoned, Dogs, Family, Fiction, Home, Humor, Life, Love, MS, Multiple Sclerosis, Murder, Mysteries, Mystery, Novel writing, Pet humor, Pets, Rescue Dogs, Writer, Writing. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.
Doggonedmysteries 
Please don’t let him speak to EmmaLou or she will demand one, too. She sits directly in front of us, even sitting on our feet, until we give her a back massage – she goes from one of us directly to the other. It’s so funny. Sometimes she actually sighs. We love back massages, why shouldn’t they? But I refuse to buy one of the back massage things just for her! She’s already spoiled rotten.
I see you are almost to your goal. I hope you have something special picked out to wear to this fabulous dinner!!!! Remember, we all want details and pictures posted!
LMAO, I saw this addiction in Gavin the very min. that massager was turned on. Now, imho, human touch is superior to a massage unit, but good grief! He was gone like a flash from under my fingers (I AM a massage therapist), and practically drooling while waiting IMpatiently for mom to use it on him. And then? OMG, what a look of satisfaction, of contentment, bliss and silliness came over him. Gavin was actually smiling!!!
“No Patty, I’m sorry, I can’t take you with me. Yes, I know what you think about your brother but, trust me, it’s like that in the human world, too”
That put a grin on my face! If I was there I could probably see those words flash through his eyes. And, that’s a great Christmas gift for mine, thanks for the suggestion!
Now Patty, even the most perfect dog has his quirks. As addictions go Gavin could do worse. After all, besides feeling good, it keeps him flexible, and his spine supple.
But I am proud of you for keeping such a loving close eye on him.
Did I make it?!?!?! it is at 49,999 right now! I hope it’s me!!
I can quite understand Gavin’s point of view, and you shouldn’t really complain because, after all, you got him addicted!
WHOOPEEE! I get a dinner OUT!
Linda, I won’t tell EmmaLou but I can’t guarantee that Gavin won’t.
I thought Jackie would bust a gut giggling when Gavin saw me drag out the back massager and then melted underneath it.
hub–you’ll be SOOOORRRY! PAtty is scared of the thing but it’d be a hoot if both of yours became members of EBMAA.
Elena, Patty is the typical baby sister…
Delaney, YES you put me over the top!
Jan, I didn’t get him addicted ’twas Dear Hubby.
Woooooo Hooooooo!!! Way to go, MW. You reached your goal with over a week to spare. ^5 to you, but from Gavin and Patty t’would be a ^4. lol
glad you made your 50,000 goal so cool & you took me serious about some snow we got 2 inches but it’s almost all gone now lol
I get to go out to dinner! YAY!
Jim–Glad to help, you want more?