Welcome to my blog and sneak peek pages!

Lucy and Gavin

Lucy and Gavin

 If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Wanna go out and play?

 

        I’m a mystery writer–read my ‘about me’ page to find out more.   Feel free to check out the excerpts from my Doggoned Mystery series and take a look at my favorite pictures of our garden and what was once our pond.  The Bull Pen page has pictures of our bullies and friends.   

      

My cleaning fairy is gone…

Yay, rain. Well, sort of Yay. We needed it for the plants but I didn’t need it to make mud directly outside the back porch door.

You see, last night I scrubbed my kitchen floor.

I have two dogs and a husband who forgets to wipe his feet. Yet he always manages to step in all the mud.  Yes, it’s like living with three three-year-old kids. What isn’t trashed, dirty, or sticky is what was just newly cleaned by me.

It never ends, it never gets easier, and I don’t have a maid to do it.

Sleep comes when it can.

dust bunnies killed the cleaning fairy

I wish I could help but…

Donate now! Give to this and to that. Send us $$. Donate…donate…donate…

Charities calling constantly and we’re on the do not call list. Rescues begging for money for this dog and that one. Friends in need. My heart aches for all of them but we’re barely keeping our heads above water as it is.

We don’t go on vacations. We haven’t been on one in over three decades.

I pay our bills by who is threatening us the most. Between the cost of living and a very skimpy income, his medical bills alone are more than enough to break us.

Do you cry when you sit down to write out checks for bills? I do.

We have some expenses I pay before others that people might call frivolous but having someone mow our lawn and clear the snow in the winter keeps the city off our backs and me out of the hospital.

I wish I had billions of bucks and could help everyone, but we all know that’s never going to happen.

You all have a good one. I’m going to go do a bit of conjuring.

midnight margaritas

Can’t I sleep in yet?

I am not a morning person. I am not a morning person. I am not…you get the idea.

The dogs don’t.

I want to sleep in my bed.

I want to sleep in my bed my normal hours.

I hate sleeping on the couch.

I am not a morning person. I am not a morning person.

hippo coffee

Bad neighbors

The wee hours of the morning and the idiots down the street have their music blasting so loud it vibrates our windows.

When did it become normal to have no respect for your neighbors?

I don’t care, I am not trying to sleep. However, I know of many people that live here who do not keep my weird hours and they do mind.

It’s a shame they have to resort to calling the police so they can get a good night’s sleep.

Yeah, those noisy neighbors are also a real pita during the daytime hours too. They are the ones who enjoy racing up and down the street on very loud and exhaust fume spewing not city street legal dirt bikes and ATVs.

Yes, they are the reason I so desperately want to move away from here.

the right to be stupid

Finding my center

What grounds and centers you? For me it’s working in my gardens.

I found some time to do that yesterday. It felt good.

In the back of the yard, I’ve cleared the dead stuff out of the zebra grass, and weeded the lemon balm bed. Later I began weeding the far end of the side garden. Tomorrow I’ll continue there and do some mulching so my hard work doesn’t come undone immediately upon the first heavy rain.

I finished tired, sweaty, and probably a bit more sore than I’d like, but that’s okay because I feel more like me.

HPIM4078

Breakfast out

The dogs had me up early yesterday. Again. This time I couldn’t go back to sleep.

When The Curmudgeon came down, I suggested we go out to breakfast. He liked that idea, very unusual for him. He hasn’t liked to eat out for a long time.

I decided to call G and see if she wanted to join us. She did.

We had a delightful breakfast. The Curmudgeon had banana walnut pancakes. G and I both had creamed dried beef on toast with home fries. Yep, we did it again. Same menu choice,

I guess that was why I couldn’t go back to sleep. We were meant to go out.

coffee gimme

Scheduled to death

So much running around this week taking The Curmudgeon hither and yon for appointments. I am exhausted and even with nothing scheduled for tomorrow, I have serious doubts anything I need to do around here will be done.

Next week is worse, I have two days where there isn’t something I have to run him to. However, one of those days is a holiday and the other, well, I have an appointment for a much-needed haircut and am accompanying G somewhere immediately afterwards…and yes, we will do lunch too.

I might sneak out early this morning after feeding the dogs and go fishing if the weather is nice enough. Shhhhhh. I need a break.

road to give a fuck

Cold, hot, cold, hot, cold …make up your freaking mind!

Cold weather again and will stay so until it jumps back into the 80s on Sunday. Not a good thing. All this up and down is driving everyone crazy.

Your body can’t get get used to the temperatures in preparation for summer’s heat.

The Curmudgeon suffers in the heat so at the first sign of it getting over the 80 degree mark, he turns on the AC.

Therefore I roast all winter and freeze all summer inside where I should be able to be the most comfortable.

three days of spring

MS, it’s a long goodbye

Over the last two weeks I’ve felt the tremendous outpouring of love from people all over the world. I appreciate it more than you can imagine.

As a caregiver there are too many times where I feel angry, hateful, and more than a little ready to throw in the towel.

I often feel as though I’ve lost myself somewhere. I’ve lost the person I once was in the pressures and helplessness of everyday life with someone with secondary progressive MS.

I see, each day, how much The Curmudgeon has gone away from me and am often overwhelmed with the desire to run away. To leave him before he goes away so it won’t hurt so much. Because my Dears, the pain of watching and not being able to help is harder than the pain of the guilt that would come with running.

Then, of course, I realize I can’t run. I have no escape, no way to go, no outside income, no one would employ me at my age and lack of a good resume. I must stay and watch him leave me every day, with no ease, no respite, no hope, and only the outpouring of affection from friends to make me take another step forward another day.

If it weren’t for friends and silly dogs, I don’t know where I’d be tomorrow.

Release the Kraken!

recipe-1

Projects…

My roll of 99 feet of crystals arrived but Amazon says it’ll be mid July before the watering can gets here so that artful garden project is on hold for a bit. http://craftsbyamanda.com/2013/09/watering-can-pours-crystals.html

next projectThe watering can I have on order:

The watering canNow what to do with 99 feet of crystals if the watering can never does get here.

Any ideas?

I laughed

My wonderful Pennwriter friends managed to make me laugh like a fool yesterday.

You have no idea how much I needed to laugh. You managed to bring me something that I badly needed.

You were all a bright spot in an otherwise miserable couple of weeks.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

And to these two co-conspirators–There are no more words I haven’t said, just big hugs.

11267726_10204971654265987_3728925291969795044_n

Sleep Deprivation–not a good thing

With each day that passes I find I am getting less sleep than ever before. It is turning me into a person that I don’t like.

I am cranky, bitchy, mean-spirited, and temperamental.

There isn’t enough coffee in the world to improve my temperament.

I need a vacation.

I need to recharge.

I need a life that actually has some joy and laughter left in it.

Kermit face

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